Pimp My Blog

Well, people. Come 5pm today the blog that you've all grown to know and love will be no more. No... it will be BETTER.

That's right, get ready for a whole new bestweekever.vh1.com.  A whole new site with daily news updates and daily videos. Not to mention updated panelist info, details on how to get Best Week Ever zapped onto your mobile phone, and a whole lot more.

Hmm. I feel like I'm forgetting something... what else is there?  Oh, that's right...

We have a brand new Best Week Ever Blog as well. You can get there through the new http://bestweekever.vh1.com, or you can link directly to the blog at http://bestweekever.blogs.com .

So check it out. I hope you like the new site, just you know, keep it clean, tidy up after yourself, and don't get it all messy and covered in dirt. 

I'll see you there.

have mercy

John Stamos: "[In the mid- '80s] I was in a band. I was playing somewhere in Finland, and there was a girl hanging around who was really drunk and interested in me. I wasn't into her, but my friend was. So the girl came back to my hotel, and I turned the lights down, and we started making out. I said, 'Hold on a second, I've gotta go brush my teeth.' It was dark, I left the room, and I sent in my friend who looked like me. And she thought she was having sex with me, but she was really having sex with my friend."

I guess the big question on my mind... was it Dave Coulier??? I really hope it was. Imagine going to bed with Uncle Jesse and waking up with Uncle Joey.

How rude.

Random Oscar thoughts...

It's nice to see that Sean Penn had his "I Am Sam" hair back.  Is there a sequel coming up?

It's about time that Morgan Freeman got an Oscar for being the "old, wise, black man." I thought he was a shoo-in after playing both the President of the USA(in Deep Impact) and God (in Bruce Almighty), but it turns out all he had to do was be a boxing instructor. Who knew?

Poor Scarlett Johansson... how did she get talked into presenting the Technical Awards? Did they promise her she'd get to sit next to somebody cool during the real ceremony?

I hope Drew Barrymore enjoyed being on stage at the Academy Awards. Somebody should've taken a picture.

You always hear that the Academy awards actors not only for their most recent role, but also for their "body of work." Do you think the Academy is rewarding Hilary Swank more for her role in "The Next Karate Kid" or her role on 90210?

See, I told you that Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz were different people.

Did Jamie Foxx get a tattoo on the back of his head to help him prepare for his inevitable turn as Mike Tyson in some upcoming biopic?

While Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows was singing, do you think he was looking around the crowd thinking, "I've slept with you... I've slept with you... Yep, you too..."

While Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows was singing, do you think the girls in the crowd that he's slept with were thinking, "What was I thinking???"

How did Beyonce choose which eye shadow went with which performance? That was honestly the only way I could tell them apart.

Well, at least now we know that Antonio Banderas isn't only a bad actor.

I just wish one person said, "I'd like to thank the Academy for saving me the trouble of walking all the way over to the stage." Or, "When I was a child I always dreamed of getting an Academy Award... in the aisle."

I can't believe Martin Scorsese didn't win... for his role in Shark Tales.

3 things I never needed to see in life

1. Central Park covered with big orange Gates

2. The Boston Red Sox winning the World Series

3. Fred Durst's penis

Thanks to some crazy artist, a collapse by the Yankees, and a guy called "The T-Mobile Terrorist," during the past 6 months I've seen them all.

I really don't know what's left. In the words of Jane's Addiction, "nothing's shocking"... anymore.

it's a beautiful life

If you ask most guys, "If you could be any celebrity, who would you be?" I'm sure the answers would be pretty predictable.

Brad Pitt. George Clooney. Colin Farrell. Jude Law. Johnny Depp. Tom Cruise. James Van Der Beek.

Now, I'm sure it wouldn't be too bad stepping in the shoes of any of those guys. They have it all: money, power, fame, money, fame, and most importantly.... women love them.  But even though I'd imagine it's nice being Brad Pitt and having women swoon whenever you walk by, he wouldn't be my #1 choice. Not even close. There's one celebrity in Hollywood who, in my opinion, has it better than all of the guys on that list, even Van Der Beek.

Ellen DeGeneres.

If I could be any celebrity in Hollywood, I'd be Ellen DeGeneres. Hands down, bar none, end of story.  This woman HAS IT ALL.

A hit television show

Tons of money

Millions of adoring fans

Portia de Rossi!!!!

What else do you need?  She's also a respected comedian, a spokesperson for an entire community of people, and she's bedded Anne Heche! Can Jude Law say that? I don't think so.

So yes, if I could be any celebrity in Hollywood I'd be Ellen DeGeneres. Because those other guys are half the man that she is.